Ok …
anyone noticing a theme here? For those who put up their hands and said “bathrooms,” well done. I am awarding you each a gold star. For those of you with blank looks on your faces, write out “I must pay more attention” ten times. You can catch up with everyone else by clicking here and here.
Surely…
I‘ve run out of things to say about bathrooms? I mean surely they’re just the “smallest room in the house,” aren’t they? Well that, I guess, depends entirely on where you live. Besides, they say size doesn’t matter, don’t they?
So …
what’s left to say? Well how about “How to Design a Bathroom?” Easy right? Not necessarily. But it would be far to boring to just describe how to design your bathroom. I thought it would be far more fun to do the opposite. So, here’s my top tips on “How Not To Design Your Bathroom …“
1) Don’t bother to measure anything. You can probably gauge it quite accurately by eye.
2) Get over-enthusiastic. Rip your bathroom out on the first day before you’ve planned, designed or bought a thing. Spend the next few weeks having to use a potty and intruding on your next door neighbour whenever you need to take a shower.
3) Get frustrated by the 10cm x 10cm bit of annoying wall sticking out into your bathroom. Make a mental note to rip it out without bothering to find out what it’s there for.
4) Don’t put the toilet within 2 metres of the soil pipe, on either the same or adjacent wall. In fact, put it as far away as you can, after all who said what should be going down will most definitely come up?!
5) Never put in an extractor fan. After all, you’re loving the mould look. (Or, put in an extractor fan and then open the window, so as to re-circulate the same damp air you’ve just produced round and round “like the windmills of my mind.“)
6) Buy the cheapest bathroom you can. You find the eternal creaking of the bath, and it’s insistence on pulling away all the silicon sealant off the wall rather endearing.
7) Don’t buy a dual flush toilet. Who cares about the environment anyway, right?
8 ) Keep your avocado suite on the basis that fashions come around again.
9) Throw the bathtub out with the, er, bathtub. You only ever take showers anyway.
10) Put down a lovely carpet. It’s so warm underfoot.
Ok …
for anyone who might have read that and thought “Oh no! I’ve done that,” here are my opposite top tips on what you should actually be thinking about…
1) Measure. Measure. Measure… Measure EVERYTHING accurately and in millimetres (the room, and the items you want to put in). Don’t forget to take into account how much space your tiles etc. take up. You also need to be aware of how much things like heated towel rails protrude. No use having a super duper new bathroom if you can’t shut the door (well, not unless you are an exhibitionist!)
Who needs to be able to shut the door?
2) Don’t do point 2). Plan properly, get good trades people in. Know how long you’ll have to wait for stuff to be delivered. You could avoid the headache and hire an interior designer to do it for you.
3) Leave your soil pipe where it is! (or pay lots of money to get it moved)
4) Try and keep your toilet as close to your soil pipe as possible. It’s there for a reason and works by gravity. If you can’t get it in next to your soil pipe, then make sure it’s not more than 2 metres away on the same or adjacent wall. Bear in mind that if you put it on adjacent wall, you’ll need a special piece of piping to go around the corner. Your plumber will know what to do, but he’s no magician. He can’t get your toilet to flush down the soil pipe if you’ve put it too far away.
Don't put your toilet too far from your soil pipe
5) If you want to say good bye to mould, condensation and a damp smelling bathroom, you need to have proper ventilation. Shutting the door and opening the window will work (if the window is bigger than postage stamp), but it’s not much fun in the winter. Install an extractor fan. Make sure it’s the right size for the size of your bathroom. The best place to put it is in the opposite corner to the door (or as far away from the door as you can put it). Don’t open your window when the extractor fan is on, because all you’ll be doing is re-circulating the damp air you want to get rid off.
6) Unless it’s an emergency, it’s always best to save up for the best bathroom you can afford. It’s the room you use the most, and you need to make sure it works efficiently. Studies in to wellness show that having a long soak is beneficial, so make sure you pick a bathroom you’d be happy to spend time in.
7) If you’re replacing your toilet, make sure you get a dual flush. There are people in the world who have no water, or at best, dirty water. They don’t have proper toilets, so let’s be mindful and grateful for the choice we have and act responsibly. Get the most efficient one you can.
8 ) Frankly, no. Avocado is not, and will not, come back. Get rid of it.
Bleurgh ... (need I say more?)
9) Unless you live in a one bedroom flat, it’s not a good idea to get rid of your bath, even if you never use it. When it comes to selling your house, any buyers with children will need a house with a bath. You could possibly find it more difficult to sell, or perhaps get less than you’d hope for. If you have room, why not put an en-suite in? If not, there are plenty of simply lovely over-bath showers on the market.
10) No, no, no. Carpet doesn’t belong in the bathroom, unless you like smell of years of soaked-in old bath water and urine! (If that’s the case go for your life.) You can stay cosy by either installing underfloor heating, putting a nice cushioned vinyl down, or at the very least, buying a lovely fluffy bath mat.
Lastly …
but by no means least. If you need a new bathroom, and I’ve now managed to make you lose the will to live (or at least to tackle it), then I would highly recommend hiring an interior designer. Some would say we actually know what we’re talking about…
Fiona
Interior Designer, Flame Interiors
Interior design solutions for you in Bath, Bristol and the rest of UK
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